Entries for January, 2007

January 3rd, 2007

Of Broken Hearts and Fireworks

   hugging him

Amidst the stars and the brilliant technicolor lights, you held my hand in silence.


(It was a lovely night to rebuild a broken heart.)      

The iridescent perforations of far away lights briefly illuminated your face. You were sharing a little bit of your existence to my dysfunctional self in hope that it could liquidate some of the negativity on my end.

(Tiny pin points of light slowly vanish from the corner of my eye.  I watch you breathe me in…As you see me dancing in the far recesses of your lurid imagination.)


You held my hand like someone with a death wish. Not the clingy annoying grip of someone desperate for companionship… No, you were never like that. You were just so adamant in saving someone so bent in self destruction.


(The messiah holding the reins in the driver’s seat and the sinner as the passenger inside a Japanese manufactured hunk of steel… How appropriately romantic, I said- in this broth of sarcasm that I call “brain&rdquo

The air was assaulted by day to day grievances and minute by minute sadness but you were there to shield me from the madness of it all, as if you were my knight in Reynolds’s wrap… my prince on your faux leather throne.


(I felt something akin to love towards you then and there but I know it’s futile, your heart belongs to her world and mine to his. It would never work.)

You wanted to own me.


(I laughed at the proposition.)

You wanted to own me to save me from myself you said, until the mythical One comes.


(The world shook with my laughter.)

And you smiled that knowing encouraging smile of yours.


(Tiny pin points of light slowly vanish from the corner of my eye.  I watch you breathe me…As you see me dancing in the far recesses of your lurid imagination.)


You held my hand in yours not knowing that it was a lovely night to rebuild broken hearts - and to veer life away from disaster.
           

Currently listening to: mata mojofly
Currently reading: catcher in the rye
Currently feeling: rushed
Posted by cristinaburwell at 05:49 AM | may reklamo ka?

January 8th, 2007

BENT DOWN

I'm afraid of so many things right now. I'm really not sure of what I want anymore.

 I just want time to stop...Stop when I'm with him. He's like a double-pow-combi of all of the guys in my life. He makes me aspire to be better... He makes me think... He makes me feel braver... A little more smarter... A whole lot special.

I really don't care if he thinks that I'm like a science project of sorts.

I don't care about anything anymore.

_______________________

Dear Lord,

Please help me out with my problem. We both know what it is...

Thank you for everything though. I'm not asking for more. Just please forgive me for what I've done.

__________________________________

I'm missing Greg.

 

Currently listening to: sad eyes grey's anatomy ost
Currently reading: my IM
Currently watching: my agents walking around
Currently feeling: pensive
Posted by cristinaburwell at 10:41 AM | 2 ang umangal

The Space Between

 Something I wrote about Saturday night.

Thanks for being there at least. And I'm sorry we don't have pictures.

SPACES

But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
 – Khalil Gibran


I took your hand in mine; not knowing that gratifying your heart would prove to be fatal.

The city lights shine like forsaken stars in the foreground. You were right beside me but I know that you beat for another.

It seems like only yesterday when I despised your very guts. But then again, it’s always like that in the movies.

I asked you if you were happy. You said that everything was perfect.

I tried to decipher what was said in your eyes. But you were always good in hiding your feelings. It was like looking into oblivion… I saw nothing.


Nothing.

I leaned closer to you. But then I somehow feel you in the distant lights over the horizon. And you held my hand and told me that this feels right.

But what is right? I asked you.

Then there was silence.

I took your hand in mine; not knowing that gratifying your heart would prove to be fatal.

My LSS for that night:MAD WORLD Tears for Fears

 

All around me are familiar faces,
Worn out places,
Worn out faces,
Bright and early for the daily races,
Going nowhere,
Going nowhere,
Their tears are filling up their glasses,
No expression,
No expression,
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow,
No tomorrow,
No tomorrow,
And I find it kind of funny,
I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had,
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take,
When people run in circles,
It's a very very,
Mad world,
Mad world,
Children waiting for the day they feel good,
Happy birthday,
Happy birthday,
And I feel the way that every child should,
Sit and listen,
Sit and listen,
Went to school and I was very nervous,
No one knew me,
No one knew me,
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson,
Look right through me,
Look right through me,
And I find it kind of funny,
I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had,
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take,
When people run in circles,
It's a very very,
Mad world,
Mad world,
Enlarging your world,
Mad world

Currently listening to: mad world tears for fears
Currently reading: my training materials
Currently feeling: crushed
Posted by cristinaburwell at 11:31 AM | 2 ang umangal

January 11th, 2007

Tarot Cards and then-some

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

 

Set

Perfectionist, prone to anger or irrationality. Aspects of Duality.
Colors: male: turquoise, female: black
Compatible Signs:
Geb, The Nile
Dates:
May 28 - Jun 18, Sep 28 - Oct 2
Role: God of chaos, evil, the desert, war, violence, conflict, and sandstorms
Appearance:
Form of a man, with the head of an unidentified donkey-like animal. He was sometimes seen as a pig or a hippo.
Sacred animal:
the mythical "Set animal"

What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign?

What's Your Style? Find out @ She's Crafty
Which My So-Called Life Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
You aren't sure where you came from. Perhaps your sire did an embrace and run. Or maybe your sire was an outcast himself. Either way, your powers are unique and really don't belong to any clan...or maybe a little from each. Because you of these circumstances, you aren't really sure where you belong. You tend to wander and do a bit of soul searching in your eternal life. Maybe some day...you have a while after all.

What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?
Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries


Which Buffy Girl Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
Currently listening to: hands down dashboard confessional
Currently reading: aljo's IM
Currently feeling: sleepy
Posted by cristinaburwell at 01:27 PM | may reklamo ka?

January 15th, 2007

do you read this blog?

DOES ANYBODY READ THIS BLOG?

 Just a question...

 Oh well. I'm up for my next wave of trainees later. Wish me luck. I had a wonderful weekend with HIM...

Holding hands while walking around Quezon city at 3 am without the fear of being nabbed is way cool.

 

----------------------------------------------------------

 Update:

 

I have been very busy the past few days. This is one of the reasons why I'm not writing as much as I used to... So many things happened... This new class that I've been handling as a sole trainer... Me and HIM falling in love and not caring what the consequences might be... My mom's plan of getting an operation...

I'm 22... A corporate trainer... The sole bread winner of my little homestead. A good lover and the bestest ever friend you can find in the whole world.

I got so may things going for me...

But why am I so afraid of the future?

 

Currently listening to: my own tippy-tap-tap on the keyboard
Currently feeling: uncertain
Posted by cristinaburwell at 12:57 AM | 12 ang umangal

January 25th, 2007

A little to late

Yeah. I know I haven't been posting lately. Been so swamped with work.

 I'll post pictures of US this weekend... (If ever I do have a weekend!)

 

Mwah! Miss you guys!

 

 

Currently feeling: tired
Posted by cristinaburwell at 12:09 AM | may reklamo ka?